Another meditation (corrected version 1)

This one is special. Aren’t they all… Yes, but… okay, this one is under the blue moonshine. I open the curtains and this second full moon in the month, last day in December coming, also last day in this year 2009… And that is where 9 comes to one ! Yes !

Special because I felt today. Yes, but I rose up again, thanks to writing : some toughs came to my sorrow and arranged themselves in an acceptable meaning creating a text I like. Oh! I am not so dummy after all… I can do some good things with luck and some dedicated efforts.

This erased pitiful ending of chess tournament and disease in mind, indulgence to eat odd desserts and retake some of lost weight. But now I know I can lose weight at will. Yoga is the key… not only word but practice : I can do proper yoga only when I feel a bit hungry. And good yoga session activates general metabolism but also stimulates improved working inner organs, with some time needed after to quiet down… So hunger comes back only an hour or more later.

Since last weekend I also had reactivated use of stationary bicycle. Some weight lifting and other exercises make profuse sweating and good hot bath after do good job too. And I like to read in bath, this is for long novels when I indulge slipping into produced world by creative writing I like so much.

But now, under this blue moon, I sit, tailor position, in my bed, and equilibrate breathing by proper exercice I know. This prepares brain to detach from mind and feel vibrations, functioning as a whole : a crater to mix liquors (diversity) to have essence (unity). That is to aim to become simple.

At this moment occurs to me that some words are not only words with meaning or sounds vibration, but above that, openers, like keys to higher energy… "Higher", I do not know, but I feel good in this vibration. There occurs to me that little flower will grow in garden, not only with sunshine but with moonshine too.

Some key-words  are well known : Universal A U M, complex sounds and simple mantra, vibrating in gold. This could be enough but I need more precise intermediary, to descend to my situation, in particular. A U M dial up to energy and resonate with co-vibrating three fundamentals aspects of deity. A vibes with the Being dimension, unavoidable of truly existing deity ; —  U is conscious force, action doing all for better (and love) ; —  M mmmm for beatitude, Ananda, feeling of divine Joy.

I find the French O U I , is such a very powerful key word to me, vibrating in silver, particularly strong now under moonshine. Vibration is very good, each letter similar, same meaning : U in common for "l’amour agissant". Together is grace ! Divine gift to act for good and almost effortless ! Grace divine !

Y E S comes third in tin and Y E Z fourth, the nearest to my body, in copper. This is the red metal : close to war for heroes and love, for lovers. By those successive channels, with similar patterns highest, energy descends from the sky just near me and, sometimes inside little me. For I am only a man, but divine spark not forgotten.

I am filing again with new spiritual strengths this void I permitted grow in me, eating me from inside. After minutes, more than half hour, fatigue arises from position, so I move slowly to some asanas (yoga positions). I like first the flash, then alternate torsion of spinal column. Energy physical also stimulated. I can retake meditating position.

Quickly I feel joy, thinking of you, seeing merging from your sleep and dreams. I smile like I imagine you smile in the morning. I see real easy to change important aspects in life. Importance to help the others, also let drop some hatred (with particular "enemies"). Maybe I can work, partly paid, partly benevolent in cook or aid-cook in kitchen for "La Corbeille", organism that provide foods for poor, in grocery and also in restaurant. Sure I can ask if I can help…

I am happy. I am still the bad guy. Not so bad but isolated, resistant. But I see a way in which I can change. I see a path not to become a saint, but just better… or, at least, a little bit better. Would you come, my dear, to eat my cooking ?

A bit tired and, yes, hungry, I stop meditation and come to see, opening computer, if you had got on Skype… no, or see at starship… No. So you must be busy and doing my things I will wait for you. Thank you my love for showing me the way. Moon his shinning on me… and also (now or later) on you. You will have the New Year full moon, very lucky I think. Good occasion to… do whatever you want and maybe, connect.

I am serene now, I feel I can take control in my life. This was a good meditation. Nothing to forget here. I am happy and I want to secure this result. I am happy because I have happiness inside me. I am in love, because of You, that connect to me, but first because I have love inside me. Similarly, I am in peace, and that is, yes, because I have reached some inner peace of mind : because I have peace inside me. Then, I just have to continue to expel fears. Why tolerate any fear ? But this is the topic for another meditation !

(corrected version – : – 31.12.2009 my 15h30) JP (+ 2.1.2010 6h20)