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Foolish translation

20 décembre 2009
Ideals we value, like some dreams, can realize. Depends on… ! Who ?
I think my bureau is in Hell, but I tried another translation, a bit better.
You did not wrote :

                              I am thinking to go away…


This year final two weeks, two important matters
will both complete big vulgar event. I independently conceived the details, not having the
foreign support.
In my heart all happy self-illusions routed
I feel like leting go…
I no longer find a  place for my happiness and justification for my goodness.
I see better, now, ridicule of conventional values.
I thought before, that I may carry my dream until old age…
I believed that I could go on and on with smile and renunciation and obtain gratitude.
This was unilateral wishful thinking.
Actually, I end up only living alone.
G had said to me why he choose a solitary life. Because he saw that everybody was only interested to "Use"
him, talents, qualities to their own profit. But when he asked for return, nobody was still there to help, not even brothers and sisters he helped generously [he said…]
I had criticized his resentment and despair, but now I see the same happening to me.
I am afraid myself to lose in future the secret garden of most intimate feelings.
I am afraid to lose personal instinct and to drain sources of OUR friendship
I want to go away ……………

But, who said life was fair? You have to arrange your own happiness by yourself. J

7 commentaires leave one →
  1. LEAVES permalink
    20 décembre 2009 7 h 43 min

    this is very wrong translation !the heart lives Italy ,Oh,my god! what fool translated software it is! It is because translated character by charecter,but ,Chinese language ,one charecter is not always means one word ,sometimes ,several character united one word,and sometimes one character means several words?do you understand?Now ,come back the title: 心生去意,means : My heart want to go ….or another sentence:I am thinking about go away

  2. 20 décembre 2009 8 h 44 min

    I think now (this can change) that you can not love me, real and true me. You were repeating a pattern you established with "G" of even before him… This is neurosis. You had planned to realize your dream , this is healthy, but with him. Him was to disappear and you are still sorry for that. Correct me if I am wrong, but it is possible even true love of mine can not heal you… Hope this is not true…And this guy, great artist you said, but performing singer : actor. He can "play" the role of true lover very convincingly : but still an actor. Sorry about all this.

  3. LEAVES permalink
    20 décembre 2009 23 h 10 min

    " My heart want to to" ,or "I am thinking about go away" is not means go somewhere,it is a kind express of literature,means ,tired for the reality life.reality world.want to leave from this world ,retreat from reality society.When I feel very despair ,I always think about that ,go far away form such world!

  4. LEAVES permalink
    20 décembre 2009 23 h 12 min

    correct:"my heart want to go ",not "my heart want to to "

  5. 21 décembre 2009 19 h 26 min

    Here I am, exactly : "far away from such world" ! You do not have to die to conquer love.But… sorry, this is only me… True me is not like your father, nor your brother, nor your first love, this husband that played first roles, not even second love, the boyfriend after divorce… Those I understand for mutual admiration.But I do not want to consider this "G", that understood too well the "role playing" you were expecting and showed, apparently, great talent ! This actor-signer-liar is great enemy of mine. You were naive with this seducer womanizer, astute manipulative pretender. He had the ability to play the role you were asking for. Good for him, I do not want to do that. I want to be true me with grown up and mature true you. Sexy woman with hot temper. Mind and spirit, yes, but ALSO with flesh not to deny nor conceal.

  6. LEAVES permalink
    21 décembre 2009 21 h 23 min

    In your thinking ,All of things just one ,Love ,happy or pain,So when you read my Blog ,you understand every santence into Love .But ,for me ,My Blog never is only express for Love ,even love ONLY is the lvey less part .For me ,the MOST pain or despair never is because love ,but because society,for people in this world.You can\’t understand me! My heart want to go ,XIN SHENG QU YI,it is a phrase that Chinese tranditional interllectual express their despair for the distroy society. When they find the society is good ,they ENTER into the society and do their dedication for it ,and when they find the socity is bad ,they GO OUT from it and live in somewhere with nature ,far away from the society ,keep their values ,so that aviod from distroy themslfe.Oh,My God,I have said ,If everything need explain ,that just means there is no deep conection between us !

  7. 21 décembre 2009 21 h 29 min

    Yes, if you do not want to understand my point about this horrible "G", there is no deep connection between us. And I am very sorry for that !

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